Balanced Melting Pot

Rites of Passage

In Parenting, Questions, Religion on August 11, 2008 at 11:08 am

This topic is actually my inspiration for starting this blog. Fresh off the heels of baptizing our son, I kept asking myself, “why is this such a big deal” and “what is it with all the rules?” All around me was this buzz attempting to direct me to “do things right” by dictating when it should happen, who should be chosen as the godparents, what the duties of the godparents are, etc., etc.

Now, I have always been one to rebel against too many rules, but as usual I put my stubborness aside (as I also did for my daughter) and attempted to compromise whenever possible. Throughout that process, I also came to realize that when it comes to rites of passage, I prefer to write my own rules. Only then do I truly feel the importance of, and connection to the ritual.

How much does cultural pressure play a role in your choices of rites of passage for your children? How closely tied are your culture and religion? And, at what point do you let your children make their own religious choices?

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  1. This is such a wonderful topic that I could write and comment on forever and I will but today I will say just this. I was born and raise in the Catholic Religion. Today, I am still Catholic but “by choice”. No one should feel pressure by anything in order to make a decision. Decisions are made upon knowledge and logic. It is my duty to pass down to my children knowledge, experience and anything that I feel necessary to make the path of life bigger and brighter for them. If I were a doctor and my wife a lawyer, science and law would be the topics most discussed in the house. Why should it be different for religion? I will come back to this topic and say a lot more, for now I have to sign out. See you again soon and keep up the good work.

  2. You make a great analogy using professions and how who we are and what we do inevitably get taught to our children. Since you are passing down your knowledge to them, at what age do you let them make their own decisions about religion? Also, if they choose a religion different from yours, will you feel that they have also rejected a bit of your/their culture?

  3. I am a great believer in education. Knowledge is power! Once anyone, my kids included, is knowlegeable enough on a specific topic and is able to make a consciencious decision again based on that “knowledge” then, age is not a factor. Our jobs as parents is to lay a strong foundation for our kids to build on. However, at the same time, we must allow them to explore different architectures of the world and come up with their own design. That’s the only way they can fully enjoy that beautiful house call “Life” simply because it is their own. My kids don’t have to addopt my culture as long as they are aware of it, educated about it and respect it.

  4. “My kids don’t have to addopt my culture as long as they are aware of it, educated about it and respect it.”

    Wow! I think all of us should prepare ourselves for that possibility and realize that it doesn’t indicate failure.

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