Balanced Melting Pot

How do you choose a mate?

In Culture, Questions on October 20, 2008 at 12:31 pm

I was catching up with a friend the other day and we got to talking about the dynamics of a relationship between two immigrants with the same cultural background where one was raised in the US and the other in the country of origin (like my husband and I). My friend was saying how the differences between their life experiences can be great enough to make them incompatible.

It really got me thinking – since I like to think that my husband and I are compatible 😉 – but this is good point that I don’t think we think about when looking for our “mates”. I think that sometimes we are so caught up in picking someone that is culturally the same that we don’t take into consideration the person’s unique upbringing. I have also seen the exact opposite happen where for whatever reason, the person has an aversion to people who are culturally similar and veer as far away from the as possible when dating. I guess the middle ground would be a person who turns a blind eye cultural background all together and simply focuses on the person as a whole.

Either way, we are drawn to people for certain reasons that sometimes don’t pan out to be in our best interest. Does cultural background play a role in your choice(s) of significant others? If yes, have you found it to be helpful or hurtful to the success of your relationship? If not, do you make an effort to educate your partner on your cultural heritage or find it easier to simply share American cultural norms?

N.B. Please check out the survey on the Polls page that has a question about this topic and children.

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